Yes, we’ve started watching THAT show again. The first episode of the new series had much to recommend – Mel B’s scything criticism, Zoe Alexander’s temper tantrum (oh come now, it’s taken you THIS long to realise what a bunch of manipulative buffoons the X-Tractor team are?) and the Louis Armstrong impersonator.
But I grow bored with all these cookie cutter music competitions, so I hereby propose a new TV format to find the next big British screenwriter. I’d call it:
You PITCH! (or possibly Pitchslapper! or Smack my Pitch Up!)
in which wannabe screenwriters submit their screenplays to to the You PITCH! production team who whittle down the entries to a few hundred. Those writers still in the game are invited to personally pitch their idea to a team of judges (compromised of long established screenwriters, producers and directors).
Granted, You PITCH! isn’t going to be anywhere near as sexy as X-Tractor (and let’s face it, it wouldn’t cause girls to start buying wet-look PVC leggings in bulk if anything like last night was to be seen – fashion-wise) but then again, sitting in a room and typing away on a computer isn’t a terribly sexy occupation. But it might increase sales of coffee and MacBook Airs/Pros.
Winner would walk away with a contract with a film production company. Or something.