They’ve now opened the self-service checkouts at Sainsburys in Brookwood (Knaphill).  I decided to brave it and try one.  I walked away after 2 minutes having had my sanity tested to the extreme.

The first test of my patience was trying to persuade the machine I was using my own bag (my backpack).  You have two options – press START or USE YOUR OWN BAGS.  I had to keep tapping the screen a dozen times before the thing recognised my choice.  I wouldn’t mind, but these were big big buttons in the middle of the screen.

The second test was getting the machine to recognise my bag.  You’re prompted to put your bags in the bagging area and then you can begin scanning.  But no!  That would be too EASY.  No, after I had put my bag in the bagging area, the machine told me that I needed an assistant to verify the bag.  Verify the bag?  After lifting and putting down the backpack a few times I gave up and flagged down one of the three assistances hovering by.  Once he scanned his ID badge, the machine allowed me to scan.  Hallelujah!

Alas!  Things went down hill after scanning the third item.  Having scanned it and put it into my backpack, the machine decided to accuse me of having an additional item it didn’t recognise.  How?  It was at this point I gave up in fear of steam blowing out my ears and fire snorting from my nose.  I put everything back in the basket and went around to the nearest manned checkout and completed the entire transaction in far less time than it would have if I had persevered with the machine.

The self-service checkout machines appear to use the same operating system as that of the machines at Tescos (but obviously branded and customised to the store they’re sitting in).  Until some other manufacturer steps up to bat and devises a machine that actually bloody works, there is no chance in hell I will ever consider using one of these things again.

.. and as such, you’ll probably hear me mutter under my breath how much I hate the blasted things when they go wrong, as experience has shown whenever I’ve used them at Tescos in Guildford.

Sainsburys in Brookwood is undergoing a major refit, much to my annoyance.   The fact everything has moved around is taking ages having to remember where things are and even when things have stopped moving around, other areas are out of bound or being re-jigged which inconveniences shoppers even more – and most of these moves are done during opening hours and results in Sainsburys staff and packing containers getting under the feet of  shoppers.  As part of that refit, Sainsburys are installed self-service checkouts.

These new machines take up two regular staffed check-outs and they’re currently training up staff on how to use them.  They look identical to the machines used by Tesco (hence I’m reluctant to give them a go) in that one scans their items and has to stick them in a special bagging area (which, to me, is pointless as I usually have my backpack and would prefer to stick the goods directly into that than have to stick them in the bagging area first.  Do these machines really need to check that you’ve scanned and put the items away properly?

If the touchscreens on these new machines are anything like Tescos, you’d have hard time getting the machine to recognise any touch input without mashing the screen with your fist (I exaggerate, of course, but a fair amount of pressure IS required).  And payment takes forever and a day.  Whether card or cash is used, the machine has to think about things before printing a reciept.

Then there are the issues of the machine not recognising items that have been scanned, or if you miss a cue, or any billion things in-between that can go wrong.  Countless times I’ve had to wait for an operator to come over, tap in their security details into the machine, just so that I can continue scanning items, or continue to pay.

In theory these self-service machines should be quick and easy, but experience has told me that they’re too much hassle and take up more time than simply waiting in a queue and having everything being processed by a member of staff.  That said, I’ve never seen all the checkouts used at Sainsburys in Brookwood – even in the busy periods.  Lack of staff, perhaps?

And shoppers who come to Sainsburys in cars are still taking far too many plastic bags for their shopping.  This is very naughty!  Why not buy a few hardy cloth bags and keep them in the car.  When you go shopping (planned or otherwise), you’ll have the bags at hand to use.