Category Archives: Martyn


Somewhere over the rainbow..

.. there’s someone for me.

But at the moment I really don’t give a flying monkey’s.


(Realises that people could misinterpret this post given the clever references to a certain 1939 film from MGM)

No, no, no. I have not turned.

Subtitle: “Why can’t we be friends?” (by that popular 70′s group, War)

But seriously, I’ve lost interest in the dating game.

From condescending rejection emails (with the usual “you’re a nice guy but” cliché) through to very last-minute cancellations (finding out that they’ve posted on Facebook that they’ve gone to the pub before they’ve spoken to you to explain what’s happened) and painful online email conversations that’s taken days or even weeks to get a reply.

I give up.

My experience over the past few months has convinced me that I should just sit back, relax, and enjoy being single. But at the same time I need to get myself out there and mingle, mingle, mingle.

I’m hoping to make new friends at the upcoming convention thingy. And that’s the key – making friends. The problem with dating is the pressure to find “chemistry” from the get go.

But providing you find a common ground there shouldn’t be any reason that just because you don’t fancy one another that you can’t still go out to the cinema, theatre, the odd meal, etc. The kind of things friends do. Dealing with any awkwardness from dating into friendship is the problem, perhaps.

And that’s the thing – by NOT using a dating site removes any chance, any possibility, that you’re looking for romance. You can meet people for the sake of meeting people and making friends.

(Had a dream once in which THAT scene from When Harry Met Sally was played in reverse, she looks on embarrassed as HE fakes an orgasm; a lady at the next table asks the passing waitress “I certainly don’t want what he’s having” before retching uncontrollably into her napkin)

So for now, goodbye dating sites.

I’m concentrating on all manner of improvement. Mainly self and home for now. And if I do start dating again, I want to take technology as much out the picture as possible.


Martyn’s Adventures in Coffeeland Part Two of Several Million


What a mess.


Went in for my daily mocha and decided to try a shortbread. My Starbucks iOS Passport app had a balance of £5.55. Total was £4.80 (no, I don’t spend that much every day). Once the barcode was scanned, the total went down to $0.75.


There’s clearly a bug in the Starbucks iOS app because unless there’s some kind of timey wimey space vortex included at no additional cost that whisks me away to the USA, then the app is getting confused between cents and pennies in different currencies.

The Starbucks I go to in Guildford seems to be poorly staffed in the morning because only half the cafe was open despite the tables and chairs in the cordoned off area were down and ready to use (the condiments table was used to separate the two sections). Most of the tables in the open half were all occupied by .. takeaway drinkers.

If I didn’t see so many bloody discarded Costa, Starbucks and other no-named coffee cups around Guildford town, I’d probably just cave in and use a takeaway cup myself, but no, I prefer ceramic and I prefer to take my time to drink an expensive coffee.

At a table. In peace. Like a civilised person would.