Posted by
Martyn Drake – August 16, 2010
Given the volume of reality TV programmes doing the rounds at the moment (we’re currently enjoying Come Dine With Me Down Under, The Hotel Inspector, Undercover Boss, and even Amish: World’s Squarest Teenagers), I propose a new one:
Film Pirate to Film Maker
Production team locates a convicted film pirate (or somebody who willing admits to downloading and/or distributing films from the Internet) and sends them to Hollywood to meet the same people whose films they’ve been pirating. Instead of being roughed up by these same people (although no guarantees that won’t happen off-camera), they’re shown the ropes of making a film from script to screen and even encouraged to contribute something to the film that’s being made.
Requirements: co-operation of a major film studio and the filmmakers themselves.
The alternative is:
Film Pirate to Film Parrot
A convicted film pirate is forced to the skin of a parrot to star in a new Jim Carrey movie.
or..
UK Film Council Makeover .. with Gok Wan, Sir Richard Attenborough, and the ghost of David Lean
The UK Film Council gets a radical make-over to ensure the future of the British film industry
Personally I’d rather see the first one made.
Posted by
Martyn Drake – July 26, 2010
Love the current Fox’s biscuits Panda campaign (MPC did the FX work) – but we were a bit stumped with the most recent advert in which we initially heard the Panda say, “Up Shonnay” rather than “Option A”. For one moment, we thought that loveable yet Goodfella’s styled Panda was turning into a rampant sexual deviant. Thankfully subsequent listenings confirmed he wasn’t being rude at all. Thank goodness for Shonnay who I expect was a bit concerned as well.
Mmm Mmm MMmmmmmm.
Update: Vinnie (for that is his name) responds via Twitter:
@VinnieSays (to) @mbdrake Only a no-good dirty schmuck would twist my words like that. Jeez – I’m an upstanding member of the community for god’s sake.
Posted by
Martyn Drake – July 22, 2010
They’ve cocked it up.
I should have been on an 18 month contract as from December last year, but it was put through as 12 month contract instead (to my benefit, of course – but nonetheless they mucked it up and it’s caused confusion to both myself and the operators I’ve been speaking to). I am therefore able to cancel and walk away from T-Mobile in December this year – and not a moment too soon! They’ve completely buggered about with both my main mobile account AND mobile broadband. It is quite obvious that T-Mobile UK little care or regard for their customers because they would have put procedures in place to check and double check that contracts are renewed/cancelled accordingly as and when.
They initially refused to put my contract date ending in writing, but eventually they said “they’ll drop me an email”. I sent them a letter through the post (sent yesterday, so the fact they’ve contacted me today is the only plus point in this farce).
Four months left until notice of cancellation can be served. And I’m counting down the days. T-Mobile have become as bad as Orange, and if they’re still due to merge, they’ll be even worse.
Posted by
Martyn Drake – July 22, 2010
Cancelled my mobile broadband with them last month by phone – they hadn’t actioned it, and it’s turned up on my bill. I’ll therefore get the credit next month, thereby giving T-Mobile a nice small loan for 30 days. That’s just confirms that I’ll be leaving this company just as soon as I know what date I can tell them to bugger off. It would require an enormous effort on their part to keep me as a customer at this stage. The problem is that you don’t get anything in writing (post or email) if you action anything such as renewing, upgrading or cancellation. I only hope T-Mobile keep recordings of phone conversations otherwise it’ll be the customer word against theirs.
Awful.
I’ll be cancelling my contract in writing next time, and I urge everybody using T-Mobile to write to them via email or by post if you’re doing anything remotely important with your account. You’ll then have a proper paper trail in case (like this) things go wrong.
Posted by
Martyn Drake – July 21, 2010
.. Adam & Jane receive a £145 billion phone bill from BT (alas – Jane’s computer was infected with a devious porn dialer which have put all their charges costs on their phone bill – let’s face it, she lost all their photos the first time around, what makes you think she’s installed proper security software this time, eh?!), forcing them to sell their home and live in a hippy commune on an old waste ground in which they can only communicate long distances with tin cans and some string. They eventually die from eating old BT phones, left abandoned on the garbage heap.
That, for me, is the perfect ending to this series of adverts.
Alternatively they both simultaneously suffer from human spontaneous combustion brought on by an angry spirit all because their new home is built on an ancient burial ground. THEN they receive a £145 billion phone bill from BT after all the ghosts rack up long distance calls to their living relatives.
You can go vote here if you want to use their boring pre-scripted options. Advertisers are no fun. They left out the third option for Is Jane Pregnant? That option should be: she’s carrying a chestburster..
Posted by
Martyn Drake – July 20, 2010
Regarding my earlier post about upgrading mid-contract to an iPhone (4 or 3GS), what the T-Mobile UK operator was telling me at the time (and also neglected to pass on the full details) was that I would have to completely terminate my existing contract, including my current phone number, and start entirely from scratch.
I have now been told that it is not possible to do early upgrades on T-Mobile to the iPhone due to the cost of the handsets. Normally you’d be able to upgrade your phone early (presumably without penalty) three months prior to your contract renewal. I’ve been told I could do this in November as my contract renewal is, apparently, due in December 2010.
What?!
I have now been told that my contract runs out in December 2010, not March 2011 as mentioned on the web site, not June 2011 as mentioned by the operator last week.
I’m not blaming the operators here, I don’t think they’re at fault as such. If anything it’s a complete lack of training and new upgrade policy regarding the iPhone. And everybody seems to be confused – least of all me.
I will most certainly be writing to T-Mobile customer service now and asking them, in writing, my exact date of contract expiry because I will will most definitely be cancelling and moving to another operator come December this year. I’m not surprised T-Mobile hasn’t had the iPhone yet – it seems absolutely incompetent as to what it’s going to do with them and is not going to be rewarding or helping long term customers as a consequence. If you’re thinking of T-Mobile as a new customer and wanting a iPhone – pick O2,3 or Vodaphone instead. Anyone else but T-Mobile.
Update: going back and tagging some of these posts, I’ve discovered that I last renewed in December 2009. This should mean that I am due for an early renewal in March. But I have no idea what that means as to cancelling the contract itself. The operator I spoke to today was most insistent that I could renew in November. I am still very confused and I don’t have anything in writing other than what’s on the T-Mobile web site as to what package and what my renewal options come into play. Argh.
