I wish I could fly, way up to the sky, but I can’t..

..to quote a small green duck puppet that permanently retired from showbiz a while ago.

That’s what I was thinking about when Epic Games introduced Clark Kent aka Superman into the popular video game, Fortnite. The man from Krypton is supposed to fly under his own power, but when it comes to the game itself, the most Kent/Superman can do is fall.. with style. He needs a prescription for Flyagra from Flyzer to put an end to the flying impotence. Alas, it doesn’t exist on Fortnite island at all.

The way the game works is that you are dropped out of a flying bus onto an island with 99 other people and have got to survive until you’re the last one standing. This involves picking up weapons along the way and blasting the living daylights out of your opponents. Except Clark Kent/Superman has no in-built weapons. So you’ll see Superman wield heavy assault rifles, grenades, pistols and everything he doesn’t in the comics, movies and TV shows. In other words, Kent/Superman in Fortnite is just an ordinary fellow that likes wearing red pants over his spandex. But then again, he is an alien after all. Alien is as alien does. I suspect he puts a colander on his head and makes “meep meep” noises when nobody is looking, too. That’ll probably be an extra skin to earn in a few weeks time.

I do find “skins” in Fortnite to be a strange beast. They don’t generally offer any competitive advantage (except maybe in size and colour), so if you’re playing as Kent/Superman, you definitely do NOT have any advantage other than the cosmetic appearance. Yet you can buy these skins for not inconsiderable sums of money – it can all add up – so it’s best to earn them by building up XP (experience points) or through competitive matches otherwise I think people are just wasting their money on virtual tat based around a virtual currency at a rate that Epic Games control.

I do approve of the subscription service which at least gives Epic Games a revenue stream from the game when it’s not licensing the hell out of every brand in all the multi-verses. You usually get one or two new skins per month, some virtual currency (which is really never enough for anything good immediately – so it’s best to save it up) and a few extras here and there.

Fortnite is a good game (good game! – how’s my Brucie impression?), but boy is it surreal. Who needs drugs when you’ve got this, eh?